Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Daddy

The shadows from the tree can't hide the tole of the years
Still his cataract eyes catches the brightness of the sun
The youth of a boy and the strength of a man

No longer measured by his strong hands and arms
That lifted me from off the ground
But rather numbered by his dignity

In the face of death
Lurking daily to descend
Like a black cloud hovering

His off balanced stand against the darkness
He weeps and cries for mercy
I stand watching him breathe

I rub his sore neck and shoulders
He smiles, his skin's soft, almost fragile
His hair fine like an infant

His voice no longer strong
His roaring laughter faint, but sweet
His steps no longer sound

Selfishly I want him to stay
Forever, never growing old
But he's tired

Tired of the machine
In place of his kidneys
Tired of his tattered body

The mind still works
His body won't obey
The agony of the mutiny

The shade can block the sun
But it can't block disease
That has come to seize him

Daily I must let him go
To the earth from which he came
To the God that gave him breath

Until then I'll sit and watch my daddy
Breathe his last days with dignity
Underneath the shade tree
My New Friend

When they brought her home, I hated her. I held the most prominent position in the Reed house. For years we fought for the attention. Sometimes the battles were physical. Today she's my friend, we have prayed, cried and laughed--we have fought for this friendship.

Happy Birthday to me!!
On the 5th I'll turn 38, time keeps on slipping, but I think I'll stop right here!

A Trip Home

The streets are not as wide or as long as they were before. Manicured lawns, painted houses and porches once filled with the laughter of playing children, all gone. Disappeared as if aliens had invaded and all the inhabitants had to flee to find refuge. Inhabited now by those who have changed the facade left by those living there day to day by faith. Faith that could be heard on every corner from the stands holding the singing birds and the pulpits that echoed. These creatures only take, no mind to recycle the knowledge left behind by those who left their mark through garden statues only now to be desecrated with the dung of pigeons. The Main street once dressed for the parades resemble a ghost town. Howling down the street faint voices of prosperity. Resurrection needed for a place, of a time and of a people crucified by poverty laid to rest in a tomb of rubble, waiting for an ascension.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Coldly coiled, until petted, he bites like a viper. Then his venom slowly renders you submissively deceived.
measuring the wind

from north to south
from east to west

Blowing, Moving

intangible, but touches
invisible, but sees

Moving, Blowing

tasteless, but sweet
boundless, but fills

Blowing, Moving

weightless, but omni
immeasurable, but alpha

Moving, Blowing

from north to south
from east to west

Blowing, Moving

Friday, August 22, 2008

Clandestine Love

Life dividing like Pyramus and Thisbe
Ghosts randomly appearing
Their intangible perceptible presence
Their lingering aroma like incense
From sweet breath, their whispers in night air
But now no promises of an encounter
Just the shadow of you standing
Underneath the mulberry tree

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Word From Mom

Today you said I was beautiful
Words I've never heard before
Until now--when they came from you.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sometimes getting it together requires spring cleaning. The cob webs had clouded so long until they became apart of the decor. Reality is hardest when realized. After the low blows of rejection, it is time to pick the heart up from off the floor and put it back into place. The hard part is wondering if it will beat the same way again after the wind has been knocked out of it. Hope is inflated, but when disappointed it burst like a balloon at a thirty-eighth birthday party. The maturation process is painful, but necessary if the days of sitting on the porch sipping lemonade are to come.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Embrace

Past the skin you touched my soul
Awakened slumbered passions,
Unknown cravings
Even now my soul is still searching,
My flesh aches
Waitng for the return of your embrace

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The pinnacle of the mountain is the fortieth step
The view is not as amusing as before
The ascension has given strength
Two more miles to the top

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The imagination can run wild, untameable like the wind.
No lid strong or wide enough to confind it.
It has life, even more than you can imagine.
Tell me a truth
Even if it looks, sounds, feels, smells and taste like a lie
Tell me a lie, and make me believe it's a truth
the color gray

the printless tracks left in the sand might be a clue.
an indication of an overly exaggerated magic trick.
even the water evaporated from the glass,
it's molecular nature scattered

the volume that no longer works on the dial.
and the picture that has suddenly become distorted.
but not pretty like a water painting,
or even abstract.

like days forgotten with the evening sun.
and the nights that have been slept away,
while waiting for the color to change.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Ain't yo' maid, ain't yo' mammy!
Ain't yo' slave, ain't yo' cook!
Dem days is ovah!
Queens! Not whores or bitches.
Beauty beyond butts, breast and lips.
The soul of the nations.

Stop killing her! Adore her, esteem her.
Stop disgracing her with your words.
Disrespecting her with your images.

Polluted from the blood of her people.
Left in the fields to die.
Her and our un-swaddled future.
She seems lost now.
Who is she?
And who is she trying to be?
The images of her are not true.

The shades, shapes--she's more than the casing.
She once carried the future.
Now, the future painted for her is not so bright.
Her strength appears to be weakened.
Her lover has abandoned her and their young.
The wind once could not break her pace.
The rhythm of her own beat guided her direction.
She must reach back now to impart the spirit of her former self for her tomorrows.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Count Down
by: S. Cone

Tic..........Tic........
A blink faster than the speed of light
For sometimes it seems like
I can't even tie my shoe
No time to breathe
Or even to see if the sky is still blue.

So, I stop....
To think things through,
But I still don't have a clue
What am I to do?

Time has run out!

What is One to Do?
by: S. Cone (my son)

Crazy.........Wild.........Out of control


As it breathes endlessly, what is one to do?


Enlightening us....we....I......


Trying to find the way, black mist eludes us.


For we have no life, but yet we stand here.


How?


The time still ticks on .....


For what is one to do.....

Monday, July 28, 2008

Dusk is soon approaching. The evening sun not as hopeful as the morning dew. There is a calmness, stillness on the earth. The crimson sky stained with the events of the day. The sun looking as if it's turning it's back on the world. Digressing momentarily to another space and returning with a new perspective. Time's illusional and deceitful. Un-guardable, the night season emerges. The moon itself has a seductive quality. It's hard to see for the unknown, but the intensity is swollen. The summer's night air is tepid and moist, sweet to the lips, a reprieve from the bitterness of winter. The days won't cease moving in one direction, it forces action--to taste this moment. Submerging in today, covered with enough love to satisfy, enough strength to hold, enough joy to be full and enough courage to wait--until tomorrow.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Treasure

someone to love you

the way you desire to be loved

loving them the way

they desire to be loved

hidden, until you

reach to find it
Hammy Down Love

Hammy down shoes
Hammy down clothes
Hammy down dolls, a
Hammy down bike, even a
Hammy down bed

Not the oldest
Not the baby
Not even in the middle
Not the only boy
Not the only girl
Not the tallest
Not the fairest
Not the cutest
Not the brightest

Hammy down time
Hammy down space
Hammy down love

I'll buy my own,
New shoes
New clothes
New toys
New cars

I'll adorn,
My short legs
My small feet
My brown skin and
My mind

Born out of season
I'll make my own space in time
Search for my own love

Friday, July 25, 2008

Words, faithful
Cleft for me
Words, tapestry
Cover me

Words, symbolic
Shield me
Words, unchanging

Speak to me
Words

A refuge
Words
Strength

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Miles of terrain stand between today and tomorrow.
The internal compass is broken.
Soulish pride won't permit an enquiry
Of the Urim and Thummim.

The soles of the feet ache from previous conquest.
The body's tattered, worn from the load of the sun.
Although the clouds appear supernatural
There is no shadow in sight.

There is a breeze stirring.
Enough to acknowledge the Spirit's presence.
But nothing to testify about.

Hush! Listen for
A going in the top of the mulberry trees.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

uncovered exposed

hidden exploited protected

NAKED CLOTHED bare

cold WARM FRIGHTENED

BOLD lonely comforted

broken WHOLE afraid

FEARLESS HUNGRY satisfied

Monday, July 21, 2008

Negative thoughts flood invading the mind working consistently building a kingdom out of the fibers that bind the psyche. They work meticulously like wasp. Their lines fuse together not to divulge their origin. The damage is unnoticeable, hidden, until it visibly spews out on the breath. Dis-confirmation creeps in at dark through the back door and in the morning displays the prey caught in the intricate net of deceit. Ignoring the devourers trap is costly. The zombied look in the eyes and dribbling lips mark the level of deterioration. Then comes the hysteria followed by the hallucinations told on stammering lips.

Friday, July 18, 2008


Masquerade Ball
A carnival intended for the fortunate. All other attendees merely spectators or servants. The lady in the feathered hat makes a grand entrance. Pretending to desire to be left unnoticed, please!, that hat could stand on its own. The orchestra plays familiar tunes, as with all of these events it's about making the privileged comfortable. The choice of costume speaks a lot about a person. The inner self has a way of always slipping through the cracks. Tonight is her night to shine. To come behind the shadows and live like the little girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes, finding the old costume jewelry in the attic and the boa in the trunk. Until the clock strikes twelve and her carriage turns back into a pumpkin, but not before she meets her Prince Charming. And in the morning light after they have fallen in love with the evenings mask they discover that they are only truly exposed when covered.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

New Sky

New Sky

Today the clouds are rolling quickly
As if they are in a hurry
Maybe they have a place in another sky
Appointed to cover another sun
If I could leap and grab hold of one
Maybe they would take me too

Friday, July 11, 2008

Time has a way of taking care of things, even desires. The body must exhaust itself and then the soul gives up, unwillingly, but nevertheless accepts defeat. She considers herself cured. She lectures herself like a Sunday school teacher. She makes herself busy during the day and at night she waits until she is utterly without strength hoping she will be too tired to dream. Trying to control a mind that has run a way like a highjacked train is almost impossible. She must beat it! The soul is a different story it's faculties run deep. It must be convinced it's behavior is foolish in order for pride to take control. And of course the flesh will become humbled from denial.

According to the experts dreams are the creation of our subconscious. Whenever this body of flesh rest, the mind continues to work. If this is true, then the mind, a faculty of the soul, stores and records all of life's events and the emotions that come along with them. It is in the sleep that they are revisited and put on display like the unlocked trunks from the attic spread out on the front lawn for a yard sale. The soul is trying to rid itself, but sometimes it's hard for the mind to let go of it's memorabilia.
Trumpet Vine

Life can travel in all directions intertwining the past with the present. Things happen in seasons. There's a time to bloom and a time to be pruned. No one likes the pruning stage. Standing there butchered like a chicken with a bad haircut for all to see and mock as if their time isn 't coming. Judgement is not without consequences. Afterwhile the vine overtakes the ground and the picket fence; yet without any evidence of flowering. Then the hummingbirds come to blow the sounds of nectar.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Child's Play

Run, skip, play
Leap, jump, fly
Live, love, laugh
Wish, hope, dream

Child's play
Clown Tears

I laughed until I cried

It wasn't as if somebody died

Just my heart broke into

Didn't know what else to do

I smiled and walked away

Couldn't have been love anyway

Secretly I would like to try

Maybe it's not for me, why?
Merry-go Round


Round and round

Days passing by

Quick, stop can I exit here?

Too fast--sometimes too slow

The merry-go round goes round and round
Two Opinions

The see saw goes up and down
Up, you look down at the world
Down, the world's looking up at you

Down, you can touch the clouds
Up, they are still just a view
The see saw goes up and down


Tired Eyes

My mind & body's tired
They have yielded to getting older

I can't say they didn't warn me
I just didn't consent

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Photography by: L. Reynolds - Pfotogenic.blogspot.com
“When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained:”

Jehovah Shammah

Still waters underneath the streaked crimson sky
Stained as if the sun wept because it had to leave
The moon will soon take its place
A black quilt of stars will be the earth’s cover
The ripples a reminder of your voice trembling upon the waters
The water mirrors the splendor of the heavens
The wind whispers softly echoing the accounts
The leaves whistling your praise
The mountains stand watch over the valley lows
The earth’s floor groans underneath the stillness
Man and nature in your presence—waiting

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Mara

A time is coming when men will weep openly in the streets. Houses will no longer be able to shelter from the storms. The earth’s floor is shaking—the ground is no longer stable--swallowed the house of Korah whole. Once the moon refused to shine on an earth absent of grace--brackish waters troubled all around, like those of Mara. Come make the bitter waters sweet!

Body, Soul & Spirit

Run Freely
Against the Wind
Rise

Leap Up
Ungravitated
Rise

Laugh Loudly
Smile Within
Rise

Weep Bitterly
On your Knees
Rise

Repent Openly
Plead for Mercy
Rise

Listen Quietly
Ever Learning
Rise

Live Fearlessly
No Regrets
Rise

Love Genuinely
A Pure Heart
Rise

Fly Away
In the Morning
Rise

Die Gently
Breathe Sweetly
Rise
Manna

The sun seems hotter
The days shorter
The night season longer
But joy comes on the morning dew--Manna

Sunday, June 8, 2008


Slave Pens—The Houses that Hatred Built

I tried to brace myself as I entered into the wooden oversized coffin that held at any given time seventy-five devalued souls. But I couldn’t prevent the tears; I couldn’t deny the voices that still screamed from those walls. Whose feet had touched those cold floors, whose sweat and tears had stained those benches? I sat there and I wept--I wept for their souls long since gone. I wept for myself for sometimes I’m not mindful. I mourned those who had been stripped from their country to die daily in a strange land only to have no final resting place, no sacred burial ground.

Haunted, their ghosts still roam. I heard the cries of mothers for their children. I saw men crowded laying on the beams above and across from them the name of the demonic soul who had enslaved them there, Anderson. I wanted to hate him! And I wanted to hate my white brother whom I love. Somehow sitting in that house that was built from hatred love still reigned in mine. I believe it came from the strength of those souls who left their broken hearts on the floor of this slave pen.

Saturday, June 7, 2008



Soul for Sale--Slave Auction

Lonely
Cold
Chained
Confused
Captured

Beaten
Devalued
Dehumanized
Exploited
Captured

Disgraced
Disrespected
Degraded
Used
Captured

Auctioned
Sold
Bought
Marked
Captured

Enslaved
African Beauty Queen

Beautiful, but there’s more to see—a hidden treasure
Apart of me I hope to be
You’re a mystery—not fully uncovered
Even though you stand naked for all to admire
Your breast so full—nurturer of the nations
Bold, proud and glorious
You know who you are—where you belong
Still I stumble—praying not to fall
Fall prey to what others say I should be
Reaching for who you are
Run, I hear you say in my ear
Run like the antelope,
Stand proud like the giraffe,
Run wild like the zebra
Prance like the lioness
Run until you own the horizon

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Reflections & Shadows

Sometimes the image is distorted. But the looking glass doesn't lie. Although the story it tells--a half truth-- is missing the inner theme the books covering is all that it can reflect. You would have to read between the lines and explore beyond the type and cover in order to know what took place before and after.

The shadows come to protect--some say hide--but when you need one it can be kind. A protective shield from whoever is trying to figure out why page 42 has been highlighted. What transpired is only for those who shared that moment in time. It’s like asking someone about their most private thoughts, the ones they can't wait to go to sleep at night to re-visit alone. The chapters in which they can make fiction reality and reality fiction.


You would have to look in the mirror and search far behind the eyes to uncover the whole story--it’s in the reflection protected behind the shadows covering. Captured momentarily--once removed, it’s forgotten, but the tale has been recorded.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Dusk

The day ends as quietly as it began
The nights covering hiding the earth’s secrets
The sun takes his rest
As the moon prepares to take his place

Stillness silence the calamities of the day
There’s a settling of the mind
Peacefulness as the stars play in space

The clouds like small children called in from a day of play
Is this there end or will they have a time to shine tomorrow?
Maybe in another sky

**************************************************

A place dared to be explored
One seemingly bottomless, endless--the way out a mystery
Not a maze—an un-navigated wilderness

Curiosity and desire draws to this place without an exodus
The aroma of ecstasy and the allure of passion
And temptation sweet like the night air--arouse the senses
Surrendering would be a certain lively death

Lost on the path of emotions
So tangibly real—living in a dream
Escaping to hide within the cleft
A world unknown to the common
Where the stars dance

**************************************************
There’s warmth in the air in spite of what’s going on in the visible view. The reality lies in the invisible realm. Tent dwellers—only passing through—but living as if this is the final show. All working towards that grand finale. Sometimes we play the main character. Sometimes we play the supporting cast. If Shakespeare is right—if life is just a stage there must be more after the final curtain call. Until then, take a bow and wait for the applause.


****************************************************

This day is ending--time soon forgotten only the faces seen in passing play on the minds screen. The evening sun will soon be sinking –sinking into its hiding place for a moments rest. Anxiety rolls in as the clouds roll away. No more time for play--only eternity is infinite and sure. The mood’s changing you can feel it in the wind. Time to set another stage the atmosphere must follow the course. Trying to hold the day’s moments is like trying to keep lighting bugs alive in a mason jar on a summer’s night.

The memories keep re-arranging finding there hierarchy among the days and times of forgotten scenes. Lessons as subliminal as background music constantly attempting to lead in a certain direction. We inevitably miss the cue until the crescendo is so obtrusively loud and we no longer can ignore the cymbals banging in the background. As the sun dial acts as the gauge even Kali’s dance can not arouse and cause it to stand erect and still.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


Behind Unopened Doors

No need to check the lunch box for the remnants of the crusted tuna fish sandwich or the couch cushions for the expired bag of M & M’s. Today’s a new day—full of possibilities. Maybe the mailman will come early or an old friend will stop by to reminisce about old times. Or just maybe you’ll stumble upon the future and discover why you’re here. Predestination is hard to appreciate.

The unfinished projects in the basement are a constant reminder of your incurable habit of procrastinating. If you complete them, then what is left to contemplate? If left to fend for themselves the possibility of another tomorrow opens.
Knock--or continue in the cystoids puddle of ponder.

Thursday, May 8, 2008




In the Hazy Rain

The rain pours unceasingly as if it is trying to rid the earth of a bloody scene. The ground’s soil’s thirsty, open mouthed it welcomes the moisture like a suckling being nourished. The hazy streamline water is visible only when it makes connection with the skin, while puddles render hypnotizing melodies creating a foggy envelope and sealing you into another element and time.

The rain seductively chilling induces the spontaneous search for comfort. Comfort in the natural and proverbial spaces where Inanna style overtures won’t be rejected because all perspective suddenly is distorted. They are succumbed to, but later forgotten, as the hypnotic submissive potion wanes.

Fill the water pots and pour over the cracked places within--after the rain the fragrance comes--the odor of cleansing.

Sunday, May 4, 2008




Passing Milieus

Passengers shuffling through the lines of the train terminal like people who saunter in and out of one another lives. Some we take time to meet and some we ignore as if they were invisible.

The expectation of the rides scenery flashing by—places appearing as if non-existent until our eyes view them. It is as though they were invented at that exact moment. The images leaving a relief pattern on the mind stored away only to be recalled when the memory begins to fail.
Who has seen these same milieus before?-- and undoubtedly they saw the pictorial differently. It’s hard to believe that these images stay untouched and intact after you’re gone.

Every once and awhile you must stop--unload and refresh. The people’s faces look like puzzles or walking episodes. Each person appointed to be in the same place at the same time.

Strangers until we collide together seemingly with no control of our own. It is when one tries to orchestrate these meetings that the design is ruined. We spend our adult lives under the assumption that we are living according to our own will. Oh, what fools we are.

Who has known the mind of God and who has been His council? He is the Designer (as one of my friends so eloquently wrote); our lives are His intricate design.

Somehow the fellow unknown passengers on the train have a part in the finished product. Unexplainable scenes from the past that won’t erase. Some so ugly you question the judgment of the Designer—what principles and elements are rendered.

If expunged will they still be true, yes, why, you ask; because they are etched into the landscape.



Bruised Wings

Discovering that the love that you have is no longer kind is a hurtful truth. Admittance is the door to a resolution. But who wants to admit that they are no longer loved and that they no longer are in love. That the existence of a union is merely habitual at best and worse (and more honestly) cowardly.

You shall know truth and truth shall make you free. Then what? Liberation??

Freedom must birth courage. Someone said it has teeth. Without courage to act upon what will set us free makes us like a trapped bird. Having wings but without the ability to fly we are left with just the unction to flap them and to hit them insanely on the invisible bars that imprison. And the dung that we leave behind on old newspaper that speaks of events in far away exotic places—like the Mediterranean perhaps, are all taking place while we dine insidiously on bird seed.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Within the Shell

Occupying space like an oyster in a shell
The exquisiteness held within, hidden--it must be extracted
The facets so dimensionally deep, developed one layer at a time
It would take a lifetime of excavating to uncover its sincerity
Priceless it has no measure until depravity creeps in
Pirating the shell of its innermost value
Disposing of it after it has robbed it of its chastity
Treasures within sought after for admiration or mere possession
The rarest stone requires a trained eye to see past its façade
Until then it’s locked inside its shell lying on the ocean’s floor--waiting

Monday, April 28, 2008


Me, Myself & I

Who I am is not all who I want to be
Who I want to be a part of me dare not try to be
Who I should be I search for the courage to be
Who I used to be wouldn’t recognize who I’ve come to be
Who I shall become I can’t wait to be



If I Had Wings

When warmth seems to be absent from the earth
And my mouth dare not utter what my heart feels

The cues ambiguous as an unknown language,
Didn’t get a burning bush

The soul records the moments, the flesh marks the scars
While the inner self struggles to forgive

Anointed to be someone greater
Images I see when permitted
I must admit I know of her
How to become her I know not

The adversary is the father of lies
Believe him and fail
But sometimes the arrows come from a friend

Oh, If I had wings!

Sunday, April 27, 2008



Awake to Promises

Time’s moving quickly
Won’t stand still now
The evening sun is sinking fast

At a different place
Everything seems to have changed

Dawn chases away night
The terrors have dissipated
The new sun offers promise

At a different place
Everything seems to have changed

Each hour brings its own circumstances
May pass through the valley of Baca
Don’t worry about the sun dial
Dwell in the secret place

At a different place
Everything seems to have changed
But morning will be gracious again—awake to the promise

Thursday, April 24, 2008





Calliope --the 'beautiful of speech' Chief of the muses and muse of epic or heroic poetry


Mused

Living in the days of perilous times. Looking out at the world for an answer only to find the world looking back. Wishing for the visual aid of a child’s eyes. Eyes full of foolish anticipation that the dim eyed now have become oblivious to. Beaten down until the elliptical feeling is no longer tangible.

Once reminiscent of little boys with visions of flying and little girls that climbed mountains in their sleep. Every spectra of color flashing with each screen rendering a surprise edition. It must be that a child is lower to the earth so it’s easier for them to look up and see the sky’s view.

There is nothing from the past holding back--haunting at night. Nothing preventing a time for dreams to play out and provide a Muse. Muses that in the morning light manifest themselves taking shape and form becoming flesh to live among us.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

I haven’t lived in this town long, but long enough to truly miss the one I left. The friends I left behind—familiar places and friendlier faces. The boss that was more like a friend, my co-workers more like sisters and the town folk that waved at the stop light and chatted at the Wal-Mart. I can’t forget the patients who thought I was special and that put a smile on my face. Yes, I miss Oklahoma!

Simple Times--Altus

A time and place when everything seemed simple
Places to go fewI once lived in a place
Where time seemed to stand still---everyday a parade
Everyone seemed to know your name
Took the time to ask about you
Bored when I lived there
Couldn’t wait to leave
Now I miss it—long for those slow days
To see a familiar face
Craving human contact
Nostalgic it now seems
A place so small caused me to grow
Named for its high altitude
Gave me memories that reach so deep
The lessons learned I hold tight
Friends I write notes of well wishes
Will I ever have another time like this?
Can’t tell—but this I do know
It felt good to live in a simple time in a simple place

Fly Away Like the Butterfly

Healed by the wounds from His side. A child jubilant in the spring, make me light so I can fly away like the butterfly. A lifetime believing in parables wanting faith in what they said. From what place did this anguish appear? Exchange it now for unpolluted mercy--then will my soul exhale. Soon I will be content--let it overflow. Euphoria surpassing natural comprehension. Almost shaken from grace--drifting into the mercury deep. The night knew no boundaries. Humbled to my knees, surrendering prostrate. Chasing the terrors away the morning tears dress the earth’s covering. The ambiance sweetened with nectar. The red bird comes again to sing—must be a sign.

Friday, April 18, 2008

My Portion

I came to the table
My soul was hungry
Hollowed like a drum
Needing to be fed

I came to the table
My soul was thirsty
Parched like the ground
Needing to be watered

The server asked
What would you like?
I answered--rest in my mind
Lightness in my heart
Acceptance--even when I am wrong

He began to pour out my portion
And fed me ‘til I wanted no more

Monday, April 14, 2008


Willow

Long limbs draped down low
Let me lie down underneath you
Enjoy a cool evening’s breeze
Down on the grassy earth beneath you in the shade
Listen to you chime as the wind whips through
Making music from your bodies leaves and
Rhythm from the heart of your trunk
A secret place where I can escape within your shadows
Then slip into a deep aromatic slumber.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I hesitated to post this next poem because for fear it sounded to "sentimentalish", but I think about my brother all of the time.

For my major I am forced to stretch out and learn how to do things I thought were beyond me. Mainly I am speaking of drawing. The drawing element in this field of study is extensive; however, my abilities are not. So, I think about William a lot, and I ask for guidance and direction. He was very talented and mostly self taught. Sometimes I can sense him when I am working and stuck or frustrated and sometimes when I have success. William, I miss you! I hope you are proud, your sis Pam.


My Brother

Did I tell you?
My brother William died
Did you read his obituary?
They had a picture of him in there too

A picture he took before alcohol claimed his body
His eyes were big and bright
His hair curly

The telephone rang with the news
Williams is on life support what shall we do?
I calmly speak, oh momma I’m sorry to hear
Give it forty-eight hours
Let’s wait and see
Let’s pray seek the Father
He’ll tell us what to do

Forty-eight hours pass
He passed away almost to the minute
Tears I can’t find- no not right away
But I can sense his presence coming into the room
I say, William I know you’re gone, for now, let’s all get some sleep

The next morning I rise still no tears
My heart is full of worry
Worry for my mom and dad

As I hurry to pack my clothes
In the suitcase I find the tears
Tears to help me grieve
They come with a wail
And then a holler

Yes, I cried that afternoon
William’s gone I said
I can’t believe it’s true
I tell him I’m mad at him
He left us here alone

He was so young
In the prime of his life
His talents—gifts form God
They all died too

See William could draw, cook and think
He knew things that wondered around in his head
He didn’t care about houses and cars
Just give him a can of beer—maybe his only friend

The law he had little regard—he broke a time or two
He gambled and ran scams
A con man he was indeed
Jailed so many times we all lost count
He would talk his way through

He’s dead—the nurse she told me
When I called on the phone
It’s hard to believe
He almost died at least a dozen times before
But this time it’s true—my brother is gone

The life he lived
No, I didn’t agree
I wanted him to be normal
If anyone knows what that means
I would fuss and preach
He would shrug and try to prove his point

Yes William died—I planned his funeral
A pretty black and white suit
One like from his picture
A white casket dressed his lifeless body

They sang songs and read scriptures
We all said words
His art work I put on display
More than just a drunk
I wanted everyone to know

Yes, William is dead I say as they lowered
Him into the ground
Dead is dead—I began to realize
(Maybe that’s why I started living)

He was just about to make it
His dreams about to unfold
He lost his sight—blind all of a sudden
Maybe that is what really killed him
Maybe it wasn’t the alcohol like we all did think

All he had left was to sketch and to draw
What’s the use of living?
If I can’t do what I love
His talents they were many
Poems too he did pen
Are they dead and buried?

No, I don’t think
Too many nieces and nephews to live them through
Science, math and art--He could even fix a car too.

My brother died
My father hollered
My mother prayed
I wrote a poem he gave me early one morning

He came to see me every night for a week
At first I was afraid
But he wouldn’t leave
Now I look for him
He comes from time to time
I’ll say hello and ask him a question
Then he’ll depart
I miss my brother
The one I told you that died
One of my professors asked the class today about the young people who evidently thought it fascinating to beat up another individual and video record it to be posted on youtube. Her question was to the class "what do we think is going on and is this type of violence widespread?"

Well 20 years ago I was a senior in high school and would have never thought to commit such a horrible crime neither would any of my friends (and I had more than 8 that I associated with on a regular basis). We didn't grow up in the suburbs as one classmate suggested, but one thing we seemed to all have in common was faith. Whether you go to church or not or even believe in the entity, God is still in control!

I believe these are the signs of the times, a time in which we are in the midst of a dramatic moral decline in our society.

This poem is a fond memory of mine, growing up in church, or has it become un-American to say so. God bless! Pam

A Robe for Pam

Voices like soulful angels
Filled the sanctuary
The clapping of hands-- patting of feet
Aroma of hymnals and perfume

The majestic organ--grandness of the piano
The melodious sound coming
From the fat black lady singing
Finely dressed women wearing hats--handkerchiefs

Me, no older than eight
Too small to seem to matter
Possessed even obsessed with
Being apart of these people

Up there is where I needed to be
Marching down the aisle—all eyes on me
Could I sing?—who knew
Never had tried before

What must I do?
You have to be baptized they said
Well, sat on the mourners bench
All week long!
Waiting to feel remorse for being a sinner

Pool down underneath a trapped door
Down in the water I went
Cold—whew, let me tell you
Chilled to the bone
My soul rejoicing
Soon I would be singing!

Measured just for me
Made just for me
Beautiful royal blue--gold sash
The angels weren’t as proud
Of their divine garments

I loved it, I loved being between those walls
Somewhere to belong
I opened my mouth
Wide like a bird
Sung as loud as
My little lungs would allow

This must be
What it is going to be
When I get a robe
Made just for me
To sing in that heavenly choir

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


Seeking for a Friend

Have you ever been so lonely
So lonely—until it hurt
Hurts like someone took my heart out
Crumpled it up
Then put it back in place

People I know by the dozens
But today I have no friend to call
Silence so still it’s frightening
Even the air is cold
No ones talking or returning my kindness
I’d call someone—if I knew how they would respond

Acquaintances I have
Insincere hellos and how are yous
My heart is sick of empty expressions
Painted on smiles like a mask
Give me a friend
No one pretentious
One to listen and to share life’s turns with I’d listen carefully to their stories

The door bell doesn’t ring
No one knows I live here
The phone rings—wrong number
Again—I answer just to hear the voice
Tears—I have shed all afternoon
No shoulder to cry on
My pillow will have to do
No comfort they can offer—but faithful still

In a world of millions of people

Loneliness can still find a place
A place to roam and haunt
Occupy and feel at home
Loneliness you’re not welcome
But right now I have nothing to put in your place
How long do you plan on staying?
I guess until something puts you out

I think I have something to offer

A friend I could be
Maybe no one is looking
I can’t imagine why
The days of friendship have passed by

New trends take their place
Too busy to offer a sweet hello
Too busy to pass the time by

Old fashioned it does seem
Too much trouble to stop and listen
To see if someone is in need
Pause—hush you can hear it in their voice
Loneliness has a way of seeping out
Out in conversations
Gestures that invite--come in—you’re welcome
Help me put loneliness out

Jonathan loved David
Even more than his own soul
From his enemy he did cover—covered him with his love
Oh, how my heart is full of envy.
That type of friend I have never found
Yet I still look--thinking he may appear
That friend-- to cover me with his love

Monday, April 7, 2008

God Answers

Life’s a tricky thing! We sometimes can feel lost trying to find our way through this maze. But I believe we would go insane trying to figure it out. End up old and alone sitting in a padded room wearing stained pajamas drooling and talking to ourselves.

But be careful what you pray for, when you ask God for a sign not realizing that He is still in control. Child, He will surely send you one—but it may not come the way you think. It might just come in a bundle. (A small bundle called Anaiya La’Chelle) Don’t be dismayed, just remember—God answers.

Anaiya—God Answers

Dear heart honey sweet
Eyes bright as the morning
You calmly made your entrance
Into this world
Like you already knew your purpose

Hair brown like the sandy earth
You took us by surprise
Packaged so tender
Yesterday you were just a hope
Today you are our every care

We looked for an answer to our woes
We prayed for a breakthrough
Struggling everyday seeking
For our answer

Then we found out about you
Life had taken a different course
God the giver of life and every perfect gift
One look at you I discovered His amazing grace

The African mask displayed in the window. I looked at her I admired her right away. Her hair was adorned and crowned her face posed. You could tell before you read the title she was a woman of distinction. It is amazing how each culture has their own signs of status and even more amazing how over hundreds of years and continents away this hair and head adornment still is a sign of status in my world. Must have been taken passed down from the African queens she represents, this lady of honor with each strain braided so tight until her eyes went keen and her skin flawless shinning even in its replication. My heritage runs deep, yet sometimes I take it for granted. This lady reminded me today of some of who I am as she was displayed so boldly in all of her majesty—making me proud.

Hey, African queen
Girl, you looking mean!
Hair skillfully dressed
Nothing but the best!

Your skin flawlessly bronzed
Your eyes sing your song
Royalty you had to be
Headdress up high for all to see

I wonder--what is your story?
Displayed in all your glory
Some say proud even haughty
But all agree pretty—not gaudy

The masks task is to capture your spirit
There is a story to tell but some fear it
Speak to me--tell me a truth
For in you I find a root

Sometimes I wear a mask
Wishing to be free at last
No I am not bound
Look on my feet no chains to be found

But in my soul
My story yet to unfold
Behind the eyes there’s a story
Oh, one day, I wish to be crowned in all my glory

Sunday, April 6, 2008


Silence

Mimes as fascinating as they seem must be in a constant state of torture.
Their faces have to tell what their mouths can not utter.

They gesture and move about for others to guess what their silent whaling’s suggest.
Their life is one big riddle waiting for someone to figure out—like a test.

Like a conundrum spectators search to find the piece that will cause this act to unfold.
It’s puzzling—hard to discern, these characters look as if they are about to explode.

Oh, the silent movies of the twenties how frustrating but still enacted everyday.
We smile and maneuver in silence like the court jester waiting for someone to define our way.

Saturday, April 5, 2008


I had the "talk" with my daughter Brittney today. She will soon be a young lady and not mommies little girl--how sad, but exciting. This poem was written to honor two wonderful young ladies. I love you Joy and Britt, Mommie

It’s Fun Being a Girl

Pink bows and buttons
Frill and thrills
Silks and satins
Ribbons and slips
Socks with lace
Ponytails and bangs
Skirts and dresses
Sweaters and blouses
Rhinestone jeans
Earrings and things
Perfumes and fragrances
Bras and panties
Pantyhose and paints
Big hair and hats
Jackets and coats
Shawls and wraps
Shoes and slacks
Bath oils and powders
Hips and lips
Curves and switches
Suitors and on lookers
Cuddled and spoiled
Admired and adored

Adorn yourself
Because it’s fun being a girl

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Where the Tumbleweed Lands

The picture hanging in the gallery reminded me of Oklahoma. The title said something about a storm. Oh, believe me Oklahoma has its share of storms. You look for storms out there like you look for the tumbleweed that blows across the plain unto the highway.

However, this particular day I did not think about the storms--my heart was full. Driving down I-62 just my girls and me—singing and having fun. Out of no where we saw the storm chasers. You know the idiots who make their living by chasing death—those people whose calling is to tangle with the beast named tornado. Anyway, they were out in numbers. I stopped singing told the girls to turn on the radio--something must be wrong. Suddenly the sky turned black, a wall as high up as it was wide. They looked at me and asked, “mommy what are we going to do”? I said “I’m goin’ ta punch it and you’re goin’ ta pray”!

I drove as fast as I could to out run this storm. Mommy they asked “should we stop and get in the ditch?” I said “in my new suit--I don’t think so!” We kept on driving and let me tell you the wind blew that car from side to side. Reminded me of the time when Paul was a prisoner on that there ship (you know the story) and he told everyone you must abide to survive.

You know your life can flash before you, that isn’t a cliché--its truth. My oldest girl prayed harder as my hands clutched the wheel and my foot floored the pedal. To try to out run a storm you must be either one of two things--crazy drunk or just crazy! I don’t have the habit of drinking spirits so it must have been the other spirit that told me I could make it through--and I was just crazy enough to believe.

On the other side of the black wall the sun was shining as if nothing was happening at all. I looked behind me the wall was still tall it looked like that monster from your dreams when you have eaten too much pizza just before going to bed. Tears begin to stream down my face my heart about to burst in my throat. Just as we were at the edge of town a brush of tumbleweed scurried across the road—that was me just a few minutes before. Where will that weed land?--only the wind knows!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Watching Time

Life’s images—surreal moving frames
My world’s paused
Characters around effortlessly engaged

Today’s scene--no different
Than the one before
Our story—a familiar script
Faintly I hear our song
The melody is still sweet

Muted voices—meaningless acts
Pleading for me to notice
Only our rhythm holds my attention
Anticipating our dance

Eternity’s recording
Won’t permit me to edit
Or blot out this empty space
Hollowed like the abyss

Marking still moments
Physics unrelenting
The sun slothfully ascending
The moon’s lethargic

Joshua once prayed—“O sun, stand still”
The earth ceased to move
Move quickly—I pray
To the long awaited ending
Our own choreographed improvisations

There’s a lesson to learn
Our life’s design unfolds
At the Author’s pace

Still from my window seat
I watch each day’s scene
Leisurely rotate on its reel
Waiting for our time
Between Seasons II

The clouds are so thick until they cover the sun like a veil. They hide what lies behind them pretending it doesn’t exist. As if to say--don’t bother looking for any warmth this morning because there is none to be found.

Creation within itself is a mystery; this morning’s sky is no different. These clouds suffused together making it hard to tell where this sky’s mountains end and the earth begins. Their formation and suspension are a magical optical illusion appearing as if you could climb them and reach the place of eternity.

There is a rent in the clouded veil revealing some light--a small partition that appears to summon you to ascend into it. The opening eluding that someone might be standing on the other side. Someone who has survived and is returning briefly to shout from behind this wall, a message, to let us know it’s obtainable even when the way seems obscure.

We daydream and arrange scenarios through the night and in the morning dare not tell another for fear it sounds foolish. Often we are ashamed that we have visions, dreams or even watch the clouds. Maybe we are not afraid of failing—maybe it is what others think about our failures that hinder us from ascending into the clouds that welcome us, even on a cold winter’s morning.